What Next?

High School- Check
Engineering - Check
Job – Check
Now- What???

Job was fine because it was paying me to survive in a metro. Who doesn’t like the color of money but there needs to be a way by which I can work less & earn more. I mean who doesn’t want a job that pays you for doing nothing. After my college there was a long period during which I was doing just that – “Nothing”; but then I was not earning though. At first it wasn’t all that bad & I guess it never is bad unless people start comparing you to the others in a job & earning a handsome package. I cared a damn because I knew what I needed from life; but somehow I realized my limitations & settled for a job less fortunate. It was a trying period & worked my ass out to land myself in a “labeled” or “branded” company. Having shifted three companies I realize ‘Now What’; where next, will I just be changing jobs in order to get a better package, or a better boss, where does this stop? Will a company ever pay me a package with which I will be satisfied? Will I get a friend in my next boss? Will I get a job I would love going to for reasons other than money? Woops I guess the list is endless, & yes trust me there is always a next level to the salary or the boss & you can never be satisfied with the 2 anomalies. Successful people who say they love their jobs & are satisfied are lying. It is human nature & he can never be satisfied.

What Next- Do I study further? What if I have lost it? What if books could never be my friend again? What if after further studies in the hope of getting to a position faster I stand at the same position that I might reach working at the same company within the same time frame? What is more important education or experience? What gets you to places- education or experience? I can tire myself with these questions & yet I stand at the abyss when it comes to the answers; for there are no correct answers. Different people might answer it differently according to what worked for them.

I have done stupid things with my life & there was a time when I messed up real bad but God was there to hold me each time I fell(not everyone is that lucky & still I blame that I am unlucky). I have done what ever pleased my heart. A free radical floating with the winds, a free thinker, a revolutionist at times, a rather somber person at the other times. I used to take life as it was presented to me & I used to enjoy it, every bit of it. What happened to the jovial me? What went wrong? Where did my smile get left out? Why do I lose my calm when earlier temper was not to be found in my dictionary? What triggers me?

How do I break free? How do I just leave everything & go to say Hawaii for a vocation.

Ok, there is a lizard in my room & it is 12 midnight so I can’t write now; not because of the time but because of the creepy thing. God if you wanted someone to eat insects & mosquitoes to maintain the ecological balance then couldn’t you make it cute, I mean why a lizard for heaven sake. Yukks!